


Ownership

by AnJoanGrey



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: D/s, Dominant!Spock, Falling In Love, First Kiss, First Time, Happy Ending, It is fun to read, M/M, Non-sexual Dominance/submission, Romantic Comedy, Spock as Leonard's owner, Submissive!Leonard McCoy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-13
Updated: 2018-05-26
Packaged: 2019-03-30 22:36:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 14,671
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13961514
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnJoanGrey/pseuds/AnJoanGrey
Summary: With everything that I am, I fight every single order he conveys to me – with everything that I am, I crave him.Am I in love with him?I have no idea whatsoever – I do not think so, though.What I feel… what I feel is that I belong to Spock of Vulcan, the Enterprise’s First Officer. He owns me, and I hate it, and I could not live apart from him, and it consumes me.





	1. Craving

When I look at Spock, I feel like punching him. No, I feel like embracing him. No, both.  It is a very strange and contradictory feeling – or sum of feelings! It is something which has consumed me from day one, from that fateful day he and Jim stood in the plenary session and Spock explained to that crazy kid why it had been a poor idea to cheat on the Kobayashi Maru.

The way he stood there, tall, calm and composed.

His gestures, so precise and economic.

His logic.

His voice, his voice.

His hands, sublime.

His commanding tones. The way he conveyed orders – my stomach just filled with butterflies; it does to this day to this moment.

With everything that I am, I fight every single order he conveys to me – with everything that I am, I crave him.

Am I in love with him?

I have no idea whatsoever – I do not think so, though.

What I feel… what I feel is that I belong to Spock of Vulcan, the Enterprise’s First Officer. He owns me, and I hate it, and I could not live apart from him, and it consumes me.

He doesn’t know any of this, God!! That would be the ultimate humiliation and my actual death. Having feelings of… of what, of… submission for a fellow Officer? How ridiculous and sick and unheard of – but it is not as if I wanna jump into his bed and have various… strange and dubious activities with him there. It is not a kink of some sort. I don’t feel any particular attraction towards BDSM. This is what actually makes all this so strange and unbearable.

When he sits on Jim’s chair, during the night-shift, his arm is resting on the left console so that he could quickly access data from over there. For one reason or another, I go to the bridge and ask him to sign this or that. The way he punches his authorisation codes.

The way he reads everything, as if inspecting my work.

He makes me feel shy and to hide this, I push forward only sarcastic gestures and words that annoy him or disturb him.

We don’t get along at all.

If he only knew.

What I wouldn’t give to touch his arm for a second sometimes – but you don’t simply get touchy-feely with a Vulcan. It is against customs.

Whenever I –

“Doctor?”

My heart-beat accelerates. His voice! He is talking to me. He never says my name, though. I am just… ‘Doctor’.

“What?” I snap at him, because I don’t know how to be otherwise.

“You have been looking out he view-screen for the past 5.32 minutes, which is not normal for you, given the fact that you dislike space and the celestial objects. Therefore, I concluded that you are preoccupied by something.”

By something. I am preoccupied by him, in the sense that he occupies his entire mind and soul! But he is clueless, a cold-hearted Vulcan who knows nothing of my shameful feelings.

“It’s nothing. I was thinking about the upcoming surgery.”

“To which surgery are you referring, Doctor? There is no surgery scheduled.”

“What, you green-blooded computer, you know my schedule now???”

“I know everyone’s schedule, Doctor, and particularly yours.”

“What Is That Supposed To Mean?”

Jim comes to the Bridge and punches me in the shoulder, a friendly punch which almost dislocates my arm. Damn that kid!

“Booones! Buckle up. Status report, Mr. Spock!”

Spock stands up and prepares to give his report to the Captain. His position correct, his beautiful hands holding a padd – he is beautiful like a statue, I worship and I hate him and he makes my head spin.

He turns his head and looks into my eyes.

I do not look away – for a few seconds.

I look downwards.

I realize it is a gesture of submission, one he will not even notice, gosh what the hell is this feeling and how do I get rid of him?

I go to Sickbay, I must study or write a research paper or do an autopsy – yeah! Best thing. The autopsies always prevent my mind from wandering and help me cast away my demons.

Autopsy Room 1 is cold. I get dressed in scrubs and I put my gloves on. I dismiss my assistants. I need to be alone.

The body of a young Reman is on my table. An interesting species, I take my scalpel and proceed with a standard Y incision.

I will not think of Spock right now and of how every cell in my body belongs to him and of how it is unheard of and an outrage. People do not belong to other people. You only belong to yourself, right?

I proceed to the autopsy when my phone buzzes on the desk and it annoys me. I am not in the mood to talk to anyone. Most certainly it’s Jim, wanting to drag me to the canteen to have something to eat and, most importantly, to drink, and I do not want any of it.

My heart is so troubled, that the mere thought of food is making me nauseous.

That damn phone is buzzing again. Damn that device and its components and its buzzing!!

“Computer, interface with my phone and read the incoming messages.”

“First message: From Commander Spock. <Doctor McCoy, I wanted to speak to you, but I cannot have access to the Autopsy Laboratory as you have initiated quarantine.>

Spock was messaging him??

Spock wanted to speak to him???

“Computer, reply to Commander Spock: <I am performing an autopsy. What is the matter?> Are you done, Computer?”

“The requested message was delivered to Commander Spock.”

“Has he read it?”

“Unable to verify.”

“What, goddamit, Computer! You are the friggin’ most powerful computer in the Fleet! How in the hell you cannot verify?”

“The requested information is confidential.”

“How, wh--- why?? I hate you, stupid computer. I’ll install an App that allows me to see when Spock reads my messages and emails.”

“The specified action is illegal.”

“You know what? Why don’t you fu---”

“Incoming text message from Commander Spock.”

“Display it already!!!”

“Commander Spock: <Do you require assistance?>”

Spock wanted to…. Gosh, what??? Spend time with him??

“Computer, reply to Commander Spock that he is most welcome, but he must wear a mask and go through the decontamination process at the end, nevermind that, I will help him. Can’t believe he wants to come here.”

“The requested message was delivered to Commander Spock.”

“WHA--- Wait a minute!!! Read me the message you have just sent to Commander Spock!!!”

“The sent message, as requested, displayed the following text: < That he is most welcome, but he must wear a mask and go through the decontamination process at the end, nevermind that, I will help him. Can’t believe he wants to come here.>”

I just wanted to punch the computer in the face, if it had a face. What would Spock understand out of that nonsensical message!?

I abandon the autopsy, I really can’t concentrate. I put the corpse back in the refrigerator. I wash my hands and start the decontamination process for myself, to be able to get out of the room.

I pick my phone, gosh I am pining over him like a teenager.

<Spock?>

<I will not be disturbing you any longer, Doctor. I did not realize you were expecting another person. My apologies.>

What _exactly_ does he mean, I wonder as my heart-beat severely accelerates.

For you, for you I was waiting, you stupid, senseless hobgoblin, my adored Spock!! But I cannot tell him that, I just do not have the strength. I just want to explain how it was all a misunderstanding, how I was not actually waiting for someone else, how I had dictated the message to the computer and the stupid computer had literally transmitted everything I had said, all the nonsense.

But I just lack the strength to type such a long explanation and I am too much of a coward to call him.

 

 


	2. Vulcan Logic

Sometimes, if I look carefully, it seems to me that Leonard’s attitude towards me is one of delicate, well-masked submission. When our gazes lock, he lowers his eye-lids. His way of looking at me is not daring, whilst his words are (and he is SO infuriating). I cannot begin to comprehend his behaviour. He acts as if he wants to slap – or stab me.

I wanted to have a talk with him yesterday evening, but he had an important autopsy to effectuate and despite of me having offered to assist him – which I am totally capable of doing as I am the Chief Science Officer – he refused to allow me access into the Autopsy Room, and I could further ascertain he was waiting for someone else – undoubtedly his assistant, the young, black male he spends an ample amount of time with. And that makes me utterly miserable.

I crave Leonard with every single cell in my body, but I cannot have him, I know that now. Most probably the tiny gestures of submission I have noticed – come from the fact that I am his superior officer and, oh well, Sarek’s son (99% of the existing beings worship Father and for this reason they act funny around me).

I love Leonard.

Nobody knows.

If he found out, he would mock at me even more. I can almost hear him – ‘Oh, the greenblooded hobgoblin has feelings?!’

We meet, inevitably, on our way to the mess hall – we have breakfast with the Captain and Mr. Scott every morning.

“Hi.”

“Hello, Doctor.”

It is awkward, we walk a few steps without speaking.

“I trust you had a pleasant evening?”

“A very interesting one,” Leonard says on a tone which would be more appropriate to depict the events of the World War Three. “I have never seen such a body, really. At first, I did not even know how to begin! But I had waited for the opportunity for so long, that I did not want to ruin something. Such slender, smooth skin, you would not believe it when you look at the uniform…”

I cannot believe Leonard is actually depicting the night he spent with his lover, but he is doing exactly that, and I feel I will suffocate any moment now. I must control myself. Should he realize the cause of my distress, it will be the laugh of the century and I will have made a complete fool out of myself.

“…I noticed that his fingers had very interesting characteristics, you know, a bit like you Vulcans, you guys have those delicate nerve terminations in your fingertips, to find the meld points… I noticed extremely increased sensitivity at the level of – “

“Good morning, Captain,” I greet Jim, hoping that perhaps we might change the subject!

“Spock, Bones! How are you guys doing?”

“I am adequate, Captain, and doctor McCoy here was just telling me about the extremely interesting night he had.”

“Oh, right!!!” Jim exclaims. “I also want to know everything. Did you go all the way in, Bones?”

“You betcha! I was just telling Spock how I found the guy’s fingers exceptional! Apart from that, the eyes, mmm, the eyes. Indescribable colour, I believe there is not even a word for it.”

I do not feel like eating, I just want to leave. To go to the Bridge or wherever. Depicting the haunting beauty of his lover’s eyes and his expert fingers – there is only so much I can take. Jim looks incredibly interested! He – he takes notes. I will never understand.

“I am sorry about that message I dictated to the computer, Spock, it messed up. I could not type it myself, I had my hands full.”

“I can imagine.”

I am imagining it.

“I haven’t finished it, you know? Perhaps you want to join me later? You would love it.”

“EXCUSE me?” I exclaim, beyond shocked now.

“The autopsy. I haven’t finished it. The corpse is back in the cryogenic unit. Do you want to join me later?” Leonard asks again, looking at me strangely.

Waves of shame wash over me. AUTOPSY! We have been talking about the autopsy the entire time! Oh… not about… so Leonard has not…

“Excuse me, gentlemen. I shall be on the Bridge if you need me.”

I walk away because I feel utterly and completely dumb.

 

I go to my quarters for a brief moment, to calm my agitated mind, otherwise I will not function and who knows what Jim may do if I malfunction, and that is the last thing I need.

I call Father, I need him.

“Greetings, noble Father.”

“Spock, greetings. What is the matter, son?”

“My mind is severely troubled, Father, to go straight to the point. I… I encounter difficulties in telling you what this is all about.”

“I am guessing it is a matter of emotions, then. Only those are hard to communicate.”

“Yes, Father.”

“Who is she?”

“ **He**.”

Sarek lifted one eye-brow.

“Fascinating! His name, therefore?”

“Leonard McCoy,” I reply unhappily.

“And what seems to be the problem, son?”

“I am uncertain whether my feelings are returned or not. Then of course, there is the question of your approval and blessing…”

Sarek _almost_ smiles.

“Spock, my der son. You have never, not even once, done something according to my wish. I do not expect you to start now, so please, cease such thoughts and see to the acquiring of your mate.”

I am not sure whether to be worried, terrified or relieved by Father’s last sentence.

“Son, I will be joining the Enterprise for a diplomatic mission at the border of the Neutral Zone. Are there any chances to convince your Captain to spare me the protocol, honour guard and military music?”

“There are zero chances, Father. You know Captain Kirk, he worships you…”

“God only knows why,” Sarek sighs. “Very well. We will meet shortly. Be at peace regarding me and see what you can do about your loved one. And Spock?”

“Yes, Father?”

“Excellent taste.”

I smile, I cannot help myself. Despite Father not saying yes or no regarding my chosen one, it does feel like an approval on his behalf – and it brings me a bit of much needed peace.

I return to the Bridge, to find Jim and Leonard gossip together near the view-screen as usual.

I go to my station.

I catch a glimpse of Leonard’s eyes, looking at me shyly.

There is something. Something I can perceive and observe. I hope, I even pray that I am not wrong.

He has finished talking to Jim and comes closer to me.

“So, um, Spock… you wanna meet later and… do an autopsy together?”

It sounded so atrocious that it makes me smile. His face is red, but he laughs too – and I so want to hold him in my arms.

“Yes, Doctor. That would be most pleasant.”

“Cool. Come pick me up then, at the end of your shift?”

“Affirmative. If I may inquire, Doctor, will there be anyone else present?”

“Nope. Just you and me and the dead guy.”

I wish we could skip the _dead guy_. But if my only chance to be alone with Leonard is to do an autopsy together, I shall not waste that chance. I want to be with him in the same room, talk to him, observe him, ask him out on a date like the Human habit goes. Offer him a flower. Then perhaps kiss him. And meet again in the next evenings and offer him a bond. And make him mine. And keep him forever and grow old together. And make everyone know that Leonard is Mine…

“Spock?”

“Uh, yes, Doctor?”

“If I didn’t know you better, I would say you were daydreaming…”

I blink a few times.

“I am looking forward to the interesting evening with you, Leonard.”

He gazes at me, surprised, and then he gives me the most beautiful smile ever – and only then I realize I have called him _Leonard._


	3. Reciprocal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Very sorry about the delay. I changed jobs and, well, chaos ensured.

I shaved and put on a clean shirt – I am not sure why, exactly, since I will be doing an autopsy and I will get myself very dirty. No matter. I want to look my best for Spock. At least for a couple of minutes, while we walk to the Autopsy Room.

He finished his shift 5 minutes ago.

What if he forgot?

I should not obsess over this so much – we are colleagues after all… no? Colleagues… right.

He called me _LEONARD_!!!

Why did he call me Leonard, whywhywhywhy – he must have wanted to make a joke, a very special type of Vulcan joke which are even worse than the British ones. Gosh, Vulcans!! So infuriating!!

Oh, the door chimed!

I rush to open – and, at the same time, I try not to be so impatient. I should be nonchalant and play it cool.

“Oh, hi, Spock!”

“Hello, Doctor,” he says, his hands clasped behind his back, looking at me with what could be the beginning of a smile.

My heart accelerates severely.

I never thought a greenblooded robot would give me tachycardia.

And apparently, no more _Leonard_.

“I was, um… on my way to Autopsy room, you… still wanna come?”

“Affirmative, Doctor, this is why I am here, as we have previously established.”

“Cool, let’s go.”

I tell the computer to close the door – I really need to change my habit of talking to the computer, talking to Spock seems to be the very same thing. We proceed towards the Autopsy room silently.

I feel we should small-talk or something, but my mind is a vast ocean of… nothingness, his presence is so intoxicating that it is wreaking havoc through my entire being.

“You are overly silent, Doctor, something preoccupies you?”

“Yeah, I…am thinking about the… ugh, the autopsy,” I lie.

He looks at me and I am sure that the damn telepath can tell I am lying. Well if he can read my mind, why the hell doesn’t he read the actual… _thing?_

“I see,” he replies coldly.

We proceed to work on our mutual project and for a while we only remove organs from the dead body in front of us. I stare at his beautiful hands, at the way he manipulates the instruments. He is precise and economic in movement.

“Would love to have you.”

“I Am Sorry?” he exclaims, lifting his head to look at me.

“IN SURGERY with me,” I manage to finish the sentence. GOSH!!! What is the matter with me.

“In surgery? I am not qualified.”

“You are more qualified than M’Benga, trust me on this. If you knew how often he passes the wrong instruments to me!”

“That is most unfortunate and worrying! Assistant M’Benga should, under the circumstances, undergo a professional training and fix the respective issues. Also, you should –“

“Replace him with you?” I smile, I just can’t help myself. How cute he is when he switches to Worried Commander Mode.

“…if there are no alternatives, which I am positive they are, most certainly, Doctor,” he replies, seemingly having difficulties phrasing that sentence.

“Very cool,” I reply, because all of a sudden all I can imagine is Spock in surgical scrubs, by my side in the Operating Theatre and anticipating my every move. Ah, the bliss, the catharsis! “But tell me, Spock, would you ACTUALLY like that? To work with me sometime?”

“What makes you think I would not?” he asks with extreme care, as if he passed through a mine-field.

“Because dunno. We are always fighting.”

“We are not fighting now,” he points out.

Very true – I should almost be worried.

I look downwards. Ugh, the dead guy, I suddenly hate him. I start putting the organs back. I didn’t even take notes.

“Go wash your hands and change back into your uniform,” Spock suddenly orders me. “I shall clean here.”

Somehow, that tone… just fills my entire being with butterflies, I feel I suffocate with emotion… All I manage to say – to murmur – is a faint _Yes, Sir_.

I do as he says and I feel he is studying me, he is monitoring my every reaction.

Fuck, I am his object of study and I am turning red and –

“We are going to have dinner now,” he next says and opens the door of the Autopsy Room for me.

I do not protest – perhaps because I am completely speechless due to emotions – and I follow him on the corridors of the Enterprise.

He does not take us to the mess hall.

Oh – Oh My God – we are going to his cabin!

I am certainly going to faint.

“Have a seat,” he says – and points towards a chair at the table. “I will bring our nourishment.”

 _Nourishment_ – God, I hate Vulcans!

I love him – no! I do not love him, I just –

He has made vegetarian curry for me and traditional Kreyla bread for himself, with a jar of yoghurt.

“Still eating economically, huh?” I manage to speak a few words.

“I am eating according to Vulcan traditions. It is healthy for me and this way, Father cannot complain that I disregard ALL Vulcan traditions.”

I giggle.

“You have a somewhat difficult relationship with Sarek, huh?”

“Not in the least. Father does what he wants; I do what I want.”

“And you squabble in between.”

“…yes,” he admits with a smile. “He is on his way here.”

“Jim is gonna be so thrilled!”

Spock frowns for a moment – I do wonder if I just said something very silly?

“Why will the Captain be thrilled?”

“He, um… has a… thing. For your Dad.”

“What THING?” Spock asks worriedly, and I am sure he is about to imagine Jim transporting a box of various things to Sarek’s quarters.

“He LIKES him, gosh, Spock!”

I swear… literal Vulcans drive everyone nuts!

“Yes. Well. That is a pity. My Father does not like him back.”

How exactly does he know that?

“Oh. It is always a pity when you like someone – and it is not reciprocal,” I venture to say, looking straight into his eyes.

“Truly so,” Spock says sustaining my look and making me tremble all of a sudden. “Therefore, is it… reciprocal, Leonard?”

I freeze, staring absent-mindedly in his eyes. Where did my brain go? No idea.

“If I answer, will you believe me, or will you want to meld, in order to check?”

“I will believe you AND I will want to meld, in order to establish the parameters.”

 _Establish the parameters_ – I swear he mistakes me with some kind of software he needs to program – I will worry about that later, because I love him just the way he is.

“Yes,” I answer, simply, and my heart is beating like crazy.

He stands up and comes to me slowly, I swallow hard and nearly lose it because of all the emotions.

He touches my face softly, holding it between his palms – they are smooth and hot – and they melt me – he is TOUCHING me, he is freaking touching me.

He looks for the meld points – he melds with me! Oh, the blissful sensation of merging with him – if this feels so good, how would the _rest of things_ be?

“I, Spock of Vulcan, son of Sarek, claim you, Leonard McCoy as my future mate. As the tradition requires, I am asking for your complete submission in all matters. Are you ready to grant it to me?”

“Whoa now, wait a minute Spock… _submission_? What the hell is that?”

“Submission is that which you feel when you see me coming to the Bridge and instead of yelling some random insult at me, you remain silent, cannot lock gazes with me and eventually look downwards.”

“Oh. So you noticed.”

“I notice everything about you.”

“Yeah? Because???”

He does not answer, he just looks at me.

“I deserve an answer, Spock, if we are going to do this.”

“Because, _yes_ , Leonard, too.”

Was that in English, I wonder? My entire being fills with warmth.

I smile.

“Okay, so… submission? Like in… you know, kinky things?”

I receive through the meld his very pure intention of slapping me. Immediately I regret all the BDSM literature I may have read and resolve to _delete_ it from my brain and eventually from my computer.

“Okay, okay. State the rules,” I inquire. “We need to be clear on this.”

“You shall do everything I say.”

“I already do that.”

“No, you do not. You shall do everything I say without any comments. No matter who is present.”

I look at him dubiously. Is he a bit _gone_?

“Yes, or no. It is as simple as that. If no, I shall leave and we shall never talk about this again. If yes, I shall see how things evolve and, in two weeks, you shall receive a marriage bond from me. Therefore, your answer is?”

“Yes.”

I swear to God that I have absolutely no idea what I am doing here, but how hard could it be?


	4. Love At First Sight

It does not go too well.

Leonard believes it goes quite exceptionally.

Leonard is very, very in love with me – I would have never thought!! But I… I have asked for his complete submission, because this is how it goes for Vulcans – they have to have their bondmate’s submission in order to function, not only their love.

Leonard continues to be himself with me. He contradicts me at every step whilst his eyes seem to want to… absorb me; he… calls me a greenblooded hobgoblin and a cold-blooded robot.

“Leonard.”

“What!?” he snaps at me, whilst giving me a loving look at the same time.

“Leonard, if I call your name, you should say “Yes, Spock”, instead of “What??”

“Huh? What’s gotten into you? Soon enough, you’ll want me to answer _Yes, Master_.”

“That would be appropriate and according to tradition.”

He frowns at me and for some reason it breaks my heart.

“Human beings do not have masters. Perhaps your traditions are wrong.”

“Traditions, Leonard,” I try to say, “are never right or wrong, they just are. But if you harbour affection towards me, you could at least be a bit considerate, if not polite and… traditional.”

“Now wait a god-damn minute…”

“See? You must contradict everything I say in an instance.”

The realisation of the fact dawns upon him. He seems to understand he is acting like a jerk.

“Look, Spock… all these… stuff… traditions… they are a no-no for me. You are trying to change me, to educate me, that doesn’t work that way between two people who love each other. I am myself. If at some point you did fall in love with me, I wasn’t being any other person than the one you see right now.”

It dawns on me that I may be the jerk after all. What do I want, to make him my beautiful doll which only utters _Yes, Spock_?

“Apologies. I shall let you work.”

We remain silent for a while and it is awkward and painful at all levels. I do not wish to go, I do not wish to be apart from him. But all this fighting is very bad for me.

“Where are you going?” he asks me, and his voice is different, no longer belligerent, almost soothing.

“Father arrives. Mr. Scott is operating the transporter. I wish to be there so that Mr. Scott does not say anything silly to my Father – as he is totally capable of, you know how he talks all kinds of impolite nonsense.”

“Yeah. Earlier, he told Jim to go to hell. Really, now! That was not a nice thing to say.”

“Fortunately, the Captain did not go _to hell_ , but to the Bridge.”

“Very often they are the same thing,” Leonard says on a thoughtful tone.

I wonder what he meant!

“I will see you later, Leonard… if you still want,” I add, because at this point I feel rather discouraged.

“Yeah… sure…” he says looking downwards. “Shall I… Shall I come to Transporter Room? Just in case Sarek needs medical attention?”

“It would be appropriate. Thank you.”

We walk together to the Transporter Room. Jim, fortunately, did not assemble the honour guard, at my insistences. He had just put on the dress uniform. He looked beautiful and elegant – and very nervous.

“Look who has a crush on Lord Sarek,” Leonard giggled. Oh, he is infuriating!!! (and right).

“Shut up, you!!” Jim scolds us. “Spock, how do I look?”

I frown – what could I even answer to that?

“You, Captain, uh…”

“Calm down, Jim”, Leonard fortunately saves me. “You look like a freshly made snow-man.”

Jim looks at him puzzled, whilst the transporter sequence commences. Mr. Scott is bored and – dirty of grease? He cares about nothing, he is even less considerate than Leonard – sometimes I wish there were a bit of discipline on this ship.

My beloved Father – Sarek of Vulcan – materializes on the platform. He is dressed in white robes, large, resembling the wings of a large bird. For a moment, everyone in the room just gasps in silent wonder and we need a moment to catch our breath – even me.

Jim bows his head respectfully – or should I say with adoration? – and begins the introductory formulas of greeting a high dignitary.

Father, mercifully, lets him finish.

“Kind greetings to you and your crew as well, Mr. Kirk. It is a rare pleasure…” he speaks, looking through the room – “to see you again.”

His eyes rest on Mr. Scott’s face.

Mr. Scott wipes his nose with the sleeve which covers his left arm.

“Heeeeeere we go,” Leonard mumbles unhappily, because we can almost hear in our minds Mr. Scott’s snappish tone and is aggravating insults.

“Your name, Lieutenant?” Sarek asked, on a calm, but strict tone.

“Montgomery Scott,” he replies, staring at Sarek.

“He is our Chief Engineer,” Jim says proudly, because Jim, ever so protective of all of us, does not take into consideration Scotty’s behaviour, just like he does not take Leonard’s snappish tone or the occasional _Are you out of your corn-fed mind?_

Father looks at me for a second, then at Leonard – he acknowledges our presences with a gracious bow of his head. He then refocuses his attention on Mr. Scott.

I am thinking – perhaps Mr. Scott is ruminating some insults in his mind which Father has somehow picked. And he is about to become very angry. This will end badly.

He advances towards him – oh goodness!

I almost want to cover my eyes. I look downwards towards my shoes. I wish there was a trace of dust left on them so that I could preoccupy myself with them.

Father takes Mr. Scott’s hand – rather, his wrist. I know that by now, he is reading him amply. Father only needs to lay one finger on you, and there are no more secrets.

“Mr. Scott,” Father says.

“A…mbassador?” he manages to respond – I could swear that I have never seen him so speechless.

“ _Master_ , rather,” Father corrects him, right there, in front of everybody.

“Master,” Scotty repeats – and I can almost not believe my eyes. What is just happening? And how come Mr. Scott can speak words which are impossible for Leonard, even – Mr. Scott of all people in this world, on this ship?

“You will dine with me, this evening, at seven o’clock Standard Time. I will wait for you in my quarters. Understood?”

“Understood…” he says, looking into his eyes transfixed.

I look at Leonard and he looks at me and we can almost not believe our eyes. Leonard murmurs an astonished _Oh, my God._ I am in agreement.

I can see that Father does not release him – on the contrary, he holds his wrist tighter. I hope he will not break him – he is rather fragile in constitution – but I am, afraid the highest damage has already been made.

“Yes, Master, I shall be there, as ordered,” Scotty rephrases.

Pleased, Father releases him.

Jim makes big efforts to steel himself, but I can sense his distress from across the room.

There will be two broken hearts today.

Father steps forward towards his quarters, as if he knew the corridors of the Enterprise by heart – which in fact he does. We follow him.

“Gentlemen,” he talks without looking at us as we silently follow him. “I shall change my robe and join you for the mission specifications. I am at your disposal, Captain Kirk,” he adds graciously – and I severely doubt that.

“Thank you, Ambassador,” Jim murmurs unhappily. “Meet me in Conference Room 1 at your convenience. Spock will see to everything you need.”

Jim leaves without waiting for an answer.

I signal Leonard to go after him! But Leonard does not decode my signal well and remains near me and Father. Why, oh why are humans **not** telepaths?!

We are outside the Ambassadorial quarters. Father turns towards us.

“Spock, Leonard. Good to see you. Have you bonded yet?”

“F-father,” I almost stammer. “I wanted to present Leonard to you first – and to seek your blessing, as tradition –“

“You are anything but traditional, son. Very well, we shall do this at the end of the current mission. Wait for me here, it will only take a moment to change my robe.”

“Father, if I may inquire, what are your… intentions with Mr. Scott?”

“You may not inquire. Now wait here.”

I blink as he disappears into the room. I have no idea why he is acting so strange.

“What do you think this is, Leonard?”

“This is the door to your Father’s room,” Leonard serves me a well-deserved portion of Vulcan logic.

“I was referring to the Mr. Scott situation.”

“Oh,” he smiles. “That, my dear Spock, is called _love at first sight._ ”

“But that is impossible. Such thing is a nonsense. Love at first sight! Love grows out of knowledge, after you have spent time with a person, after you have gotten to know them…”

“Spock?”

“Yes, Leonard?”

“You are a cold-blooded **idiot**.”

Leonard leaves, and I have the distinct feeling I am missing out something of high importance, something which is, as humans say, right in front of me and I fail to see it.


	5. Not Touching What Is Mine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Having fun?

I am the last to arrive at the Conference Room. Spock looks at me with thirst. I am upset and mad at him. He wants to transform me into an obedient doll and… well. I do not want that. At the beginning, it was so interesting… to feel his power, to execute his orders… to let him decide, to just blindly follow him. But as soon as he made his intentions clear – yes, he wanted me to be submissive to him – it occurred to me that, in fact, I did not want that in the least. Often, when you name things for what they are, you get to ruin them.

No. I want to bloody remain Leonard McCoy.

That’s it.

“If you would be so kind to sit down already, Doctor McCoy, we shall begin,” Sarek says sharply.

I realize just then that I was just staring at Spock whilst ruminating the philosophical implications of having a mate belonging to another race, having different needs and expectations.

I snap out of it and sit down. Gosh! I am terrible sometimes.

I look around whilst Sarek begins describing the mission specifications. I do not care about it – or him – in the least, and therefore I do not even listen.

“…must not cross into Romulan space…” I hear Jim comment.

Sarek explains something with a calm and authoritative voice. Every now and then he looks at Scotty, who has been invited too and who is completely speechless.

Love at first sight. Soul-collapsing at first sight.

His heart will be broken tomorrow, and I hate Sarek of Vulcan.

Spock is studying me – I wonder what he is pondering on – the fact that I am not the right mate for him, the fact that he lost all this time chasing after me only to discover it was useless…

I love him, oh God, I love him.

I love him, and it consumes me, and I am mad at myself for not being able to do absolutely anything for him.

Must be my pride – it even annoys me.

“Since none of you is paying any attention,” I hear Sarek speak – gosh, are we really that terrible? – “I shall meld with each of you and provide you with the necessary mission specifications.”

I rub my eyes tiredly and feel ashamed – luckily, everyone else seems to feel the same way.

He melds with Spock, it goes well, smoothly, without any problems. Spock seems to have understood.

He moves to Jim, who equally offers himself for the meld without any fuss. Sarek lingers in his mind for a moment longer.

“I am very sorry, Captain,” he then says, no idea in reference to what. Oh! Ohhh!! He must have seen Jim’s feelings, or rather – infatuation with him. “There is someone else waiting for you, someone I hold in high regard. I will not touch what belongs to them.”

Jim looks puzzled and confused.

Okay, so… trying to understand what has happened! Sarek must have seen his feelings, acknowledged them, and apologized for not going further because, seemingly, there is someone else loving Jim. I wonder who? I mean… not that Jim does not have a whole list of suitors, but those are mostly people wanting to get under his skin or in his bed because he is a pretty boy. So, who loves him? God, what if Spock… what if Sarek has determined that Spock is much more compatible with Jim than with me? After all, they spend such an ample amount of time together…

Next, Sarek approaches Mr. Scott. He lifts his chin with one finger and melds with him without even asking for consent or murmuring that traditional “My mind to your mind” phrase. Scotty looks at him as if he wanted to simply absorb him – oh my God… that will not end well.

Sarek breaks the meld and Scotty takes his hand and kisses it – and I want to faint.

Oh but… he is now heading towards me.

When his hand is extended towards my face, I sort-of fidget uncomfortably, I don’t feel like I should…

“STOP,” comes the order from Spock. “You will not touch what belongs to me. Not even you, Father.”

I blink, wh-what?

Sarek _almost_ smiles and turns toward his son.

“Update your mate on the mission specifications, then, son. And if he is yours, make it known. Many would want Doctor Leonard McCoy.”

It is official. Vulcans are crazy AND weird!

Spock stands up and comes to me, melding with me instead of allowing Sarek to do the respective operation. I am psi-absolute-zero but still, I feel him in my mind, a strong and stable presence. Information transfer, clear and simple, follows through the meld. We are to arrive at the Neutral Zone. We shall meet with the Romulan Praetor for a delicate diplomatic mission which aims at strengthening liaisons between our peoples. Blah blah. Whatever. My role is to ensure they remain in one piece, especially Jim. It is not always the case, but then again, I am Leonard McCoy.

I wish the meld did not stop. If connecting with him mentally feels so good, I wonder how… um… other things would be.

“That will be all, gentlemen,” Jim says professionally. “Thank you for all the information, Ambassador. We shall reach there in two standard hours. To your stations, please.” He then goes to the Bridge.

I need to have a word with that crazy kid.

Luckily, _my station_ is pretty much everywhere on the ship – I mean, everywhere there are hurt people, and right now he is one of them.

I stand near the Captain’s chair.

“Jiiiim?” I try to purr, even though I am not particularly good at purring. It comes out as a threatening growl.

“No.”

“Jim! Snap out of it. Your mind is wandering, come on, let us identify the cure.”

“Have you become Vulcan?” he asks me sarcastically.

“I have not, God forbid!! I have only remained your friend, which means I know when you are upset.”

He rolls his eyes in exasperation. He is aware he cannot get rid of me so easily, unless a ship-wide epidemic bursts all of a sudden, and there are little chances of that.

“Please do not tell me you are in love with Sarek of Vulcan,” I almost sob.

“I am not. I mean… I am in love with the idea of him, I guess. Beautiful, strong…”

“…slightly older…” I add to the list of Sarek’s qualities.

“Yeah…” Jim admits, seemingly not disturbed by the age difference. “Those beautiful eyes, that calm tone which he uses to order the most atrocious things… all that power…”

“All these qualities,” I try to sum up. “They… they… remind you of someone… you are about, no?”

“Huh? No!” he exclaims decidedly. “Yes,” he then adds. “Maybe,” he finally corrects himself.

“Someone I know?”

“No. Yes.”

“My God, Jim, you are giving me a headache. I am going to Sickbay to get myself a hypospray.”

“Yes, do that!” he encourages me, pleased, happy and relieved to get rid of me already.

I leave the Bridge, but I go to my private office – it is time I made a phone call to an old buddy of mine who might be interested in the new intel I have acquired.

“Greetings!” I salute my acquaintance.

“McCoy, this is a priority one channel. What is it?”

“I will say this only once.”

My interlocutor must think I have gone mad, because he stares at me in pure disbelief. What am I going to say only once and why am I using a priority one, highly encrypted communications channel?

“Go right ahead then,” he says, obviously not pleased by my behaviour.

“Jim Kirk loves you.”

There is deep silence at the other end. The interlocutor does not even move anymore. Perhaps the piece of news was too much? Perhaps I killed him?

“Thank you,” he exhales and seems to have resumed living. “Thank you.”

“You are welcome. End communication.”

Well, that was easy.

If only things were that easier with Spock and myself…

But before I finish that thought, hot, smooth hands wrap around my waist, holding me tight – and I just melt into that embrace…


	6. My Leonard

“Leonard. Leonard. Leonard,” I murmur, holding him tight against me and covering his neck with kisses.

He turns towards me and I kiss him – I kiss him, and he melts into the kiss, but he clings to me and kisses back with despair. This is NOT a good moment, nor a good place, what am I even doing? I try to calm myself, but he does not push me away, on the contrary – he encourages me.

“We should not do this here…” I try to reason with myself, because it is long since I have given up reasoning with Leonard, that just doesn’t work.

“Myeah,” he agrees. “Computer, lock door, authorisation Leonard McCoy, Chief Medical Officer.”

Then he launches upon me and we fall on the small sofa in his office.

I push away the remaining bits of logic and responsibility – I will retrieve them later – and I try not to rip Leonard’s clothes apart, as I undress him.

His splendid form is making me dizzy with want.

I had imagined a very traditional first time with Leonard, my very submissive mate (in my head only); I would have him on a beautiful rug which I had previously acquired from New Vulcan, surrounded by candles… it would have been almost like a ritual…

…I would have been an idiot, I realize – as Leonard wraps one leg around my waist encouragingly, and my self-control goes straight to hell, as Humans say. I take him right then and there, and his body welcomes me with greed and want and a passion so overwhelming, my soul bursts with happiness. Our minds gravitate towards one another and I cannot help but extend one arm and meld with him profoundly.

I should not build the bond right now – I had promised Father I would make the appropriate introductions and such – but it is not possible to fight against this feeling, this ancestral urge. I have my mate in my arms, our bodies are joined, so are our minds, our lips locked in a desperate kiss. I press my fingers harder on his face as if I wanted to run them through his mind… the bond bursts into existence, natural and bright, as if it had always been there, merely covered by something.

Let it shine bright. I will not be ashamed of loving Leonard McCoy – not now, nor ever, not even when he is infuriating and terrorizing.

I love him. Love him. Love him. And I will not ask for things which only exist in my mind, empty castles from which life is missing.

“Spock, baby, my love. Master.”

I blink and look at him, not sure I had heard that right.

“What did you call me?”

“Not sure. We gotta go to the Bridge, we’re almost there.”

“Where?” I inquire, as my reason seems to have momentarily deserted me and I need to come to my senses quite quickly. I am struggling.

“Edge of Neutral Zone?”

“Oh. Yes, you are right. You have become very responsible.”

“Yeah, don’t know what is happening to me.”

He is still his old self, as I can very well see.

“Leonard, Ashayam, my beloved. Have I injured you in any way?”

“Nothing that cannot be taken care of.”

I should not have rushed through the process. What injuries have I caused? I flip him on his belly, unceremoniously, and start examining him.

He giggles and laughs, and he struggles to break free from my grasp.

“Hold still,” I warn him.

He immediately obeys and lets me do whatever I want. This reaction has come as such a surprise, that it nearly knocked me off my feet. I can also feel his emotion through the bond – my words have stirred something in him. There may be a chance for me to –

<Captain Kirk to Commander Spock> the intercom announces, and I nearly jump at the hail. I procure my badge from the floor where I had previously abandoned it.

“Yes, Captain.”

<Report to the Bridge.>

“I am on my way, Captain,” I acknowledge the received order. “Come, Leonard, let us dress and hurry. We have been somewhat amiss in our duties.”

“Fuck them duties. I deserve a break.”

“Mind your language, Leonard…”

“Nope.”

I sigh. There may not be a chance for me to –

He dresses quickly and after we both look acceptable, he releases the door. We go to the Bridge, and he looks at me apprehensively.

“My head is burning,” he confesses.

“I can assure you, Leonard, that your head is not burning. There is a feverish sensation, which I also share, which is due to the bond. It will settle in some time."

“In how much time?”

“…a few years…”

He looks at me and starts to laugh.

“Gosh I believe I have contaminated you with a very dangerous virus, Spock.”

I frown as he utters that. Is he serious?

“What virus are you talking about, Leonard? Shall we go to Sick Bay?”

“The sense of humour.”

He is right. I could never master the Humans’ innate sense of humor, but now that I have access to his mind and his memories through the bond, I can finally start to understand how humour actually works. It is pleasant.

“Glad you could join us,” Jim says, somewhat sarcastically. I believe we are a little late.

Father is already on the Bridge, so is Mr. Scott – who is usually never on the Bridge, but in Engineering. His so-called “crush” on my Father seems to have catastrophic proportions. I feel very sorry for him. Even if Father offers him one night, nothing can follow afterwards – my Father never took another mate after having lost Mother and, to my knowledge, he did not have any short-term relationships either. So, this will be painful for dear Mr. Scott, from more points of view than one.

“I will conduct the negotiations,” Father announces. “I require complete silence, lack of interference, both verbally and mentally. Mr. Scott, go to your station in Engineering,” he ordered, turning towards him.

“Yes, Master,” Mr. Scott says mildly and leaves the bridge without any comment.

It somehow hurts me to see him in that state. Uttering _Yes Master_ in front of all his colleagues and co-workers… I believe he is unwell. I should check on him. He is my friend, I cannot possibly leave him in that state.

I discretely text Jim of my plan – he approves.

Mr. Scott is at his usual station in Engineering, making sure the warp drive is operational and we are ready to leave at once, should my Father’s partners of dialogue turn out to be aggressive.

“Mr. Scott…”

“Aye! What brings you here, MR. Spock?” he asks on his usual tone, his Scottish accent very pronounced.

“Mr. Scott, I came because I am a bit worried for you and wanted to see if you were well.”

“I am very well,” he said looking at me confused and seemingly not knowing what I was referring to.

“You seem very taken with… my Father.”

“Oh, so that is what it is all about. You needn’t worry, Mr. Spock. I ain’t gonna harm your Father.”

“I was not thinking about that. On the contrary, I am afraid that you will – as Humans say – lose your heart to him.”

“Aye. The damage is already done.”

“Are you… are you going to spend the night with him, Mr. Scott?”

“If he wants,” he shrugged.

I shiver.

“And what then? What will you the next day, when he leaves?”

“Nothin’.”

He tries to seem tough, but I know him well.

“It will hurt when he leaves.”

“It hurt when he arrived and will hurt every single moment of my life henceforth, so be at peace, Mr. Spock. If he wants to keep me, I shall follow him anywhere. If he wants to leave me, I will spend the rest of my life waiting for his return. I belong to Sarek of Vulcan and that is all there is to be discussed about it.”

I was so happy with my Leonard; but seeing such love and such despair in front of me, in the heart of my friend, I could not help but feel sorrow – as one does, when witnessing the breaking of a heart.


	7. Two Letters Only

Gosh, the official afternoon tea with Sarek, I hate it.

Good thing that the negotiations in the Neutral Zone went well. Sarek talked to a bunch of Romulans and then they beamed some paperwork from one ship to another. Jim and Spock busied themselves with those for a while.

I am not sure I understood what the entire mission was all about – anyway, my mission is to patch them up when they get hurt – and they luckily did not get hurt this time. Gosh, missions! I hate them.

After the entire diplomatic protocol was done, the unavoidable had to take place.

This tea moment.

I cringe.

For Spock’s sake, I put on my dress uniform and I try to look acceptable – even though –

“Leonard, cease thinking of you and me in bed.”

“Huh? Hey listen here, you, hobgoblin! Are you eavesdropping to my thoughts?”

“You are largely broadcasting them to me.”

“Fu- well, nevermind. What are we doing now to Sarek? What can’t we have a break?”

Spock sighed and stopped in the middle of the corridor, taking my hands.

“Leonard, I know you dislike such events; however, I have broken many rules in my family and I cannot continue aggravating the situation with my father. I must fix whatever can be fixed. Introducing you as my bondmate in a nice and respectful way cannot be that difficult to endure… am I right?”

“Right… sorry. I am being an ass.”

“You are being your normal infuriating self. Stop for two hours.”

I start laughing and at the same time I want to punch him. Does he really find me completely infuriating most of the time?

Spock announces our presence when we arrive at Sarek’s door.

The door opens, and we go inside – Jim and Scotty are also there. Scotty is silent and apprehensive, barely looking at everyone. I know that Spock and him have been talking but I do not know about what.

“Should we start from the beginning?” Sarek asks, turning towards us to greet us. I sense he is studying me, and I hate it, and I hate him.

“Yes,” Spock says. “Noble Father, allow me to introduce my bondmate, doctor Leonard McCoy. Exceptional circumstances made me build our marriage bond sooner; let me therefore assure you that he is more than worthy of it and his name will be an important addition to the prestige and merit of our House.”

Sarek seems pleased by the speech.

“It is a pleasure and indeed an honour to welcome you to our Family, Doctor McCoy. Indeed, my son has neve done things according to tradition or at least according to my instructions; he has always been like that. But even so, and even if he had made everything ‘by the book’ as you, Humans, say, I would have welcomed you with equal warmth and joy.”

Oh! This goes well, I believe.

“Thanks!” I exclaim. Then, I notice Spock’s rather stern look. “I mean. Thank you, Ambassador Sarek. I am… confident we shall be good friends.”

Okay, that sounded bad. He is a King for God’s sake. I offered to be his friends as if we had drinks together or something.

“Would you care or something to drink?” he then says, and I start to laugh, because… really. He sees through my forehead, straight into my brain, it seems.

“Just tea, thanks, I have a surgery scheduled at 19,00 hours.”

“Then do sit down, Spock, Leonard. My attendants will bring us tea and a snack. I know you are no British, but I appreciate the afternoon tea tradition – a very Vulcan custom. Mr. Scott, are you well?” he then asks our colleague who seems completely immersed into thoughts.

“Yes, Master.”

“Then you will eat something and have a cup of tea. He hasn’t eaten anything since I arrived,” he then confesses to me, not without worry, which I can perceive.”

“Listen, Ambassador, I have something to tell you,” I suddenly say. Let us step into your office for a moment since this is confidential.”

I sense Spock glaring at me but right now he needs to let me try and make a point to the proud king.

Sarek silently walks towards his office and I follow him.

“LISTEN!!” I immediately snap at him. “WHAT are your thoughts regarding HIM?”

“Calm down, Doctor. I am not going to answer inquiries about Mr. Scott. He is a consenting adult. Or perhaps are you here to tell me that my son has done something which hurt you, something which was against your will?”

“You know damn well he did not. Are you going to spend the night with Mr. Scott?”

“If he wants,” he answers evenly.

“Well he has never been with anyone!”

He frowns. That cannot be good. I am beyond caring.

“How do you know this, more precisely, Doctor?”

“I am his bloody Doctor! I give him a full physical examination each week since he is one of the senior officers!!”

“There is no need to yell, Doctor.”

“WHO’S YELLING?”

He sighs and I am well aware I am being infernal.

“Doctor, I would like to reassure you somehow, but I know I cannot, except if you convince Mr. Scott to leave my side – something I do not wish, something he does not wish either. Let us be. It will be fine.”

“He will die in the morning!”

“No, he will not,” he protests on a somewhat sharper tone. “Vulcans and Humans are biologically compatible and, furthermore, I have been with unexperienced partners before, I know how to handle things.”

Gosh, I sooooo wanna strangle him right now. _He knows how to handle things._

“Now come, Doctor, my son is longing after you, not to mention he is dead worried about what is going on in this room, let us not make him wait. And besides, our tea is getting cold.”

I mumble a few other unintelligible words and return to the main room, where indeed the tea has ben served and Scotty and Spock are looking nervous and impatient.

“What did you do, Leonard?” Spock murmurs to my ear, worriedly.

“Nothing,” I murmur back, sweetly.

“What did you and Father discuss about?”

“External politics and the matter of First Contact.”

He looks positively confused and adorable.

We drink our tea whilst Sarek engages us in a pleasant discussion. Jim is still silent and apprehensive.

“Jimmy?” I ask at some point. I am worried about my boy.

“Yeah. We are heading to New Vulcan to drop the Ambassador off, and then home,” he said, and there was a certain warmth in the way he had uttered the word _home_.

“Something exciting happened?”

“Yes… no, actually… Pike is waiting for me at the shuttlebay port. I think I may have screwed something, he seemed upset.”

“You always screw something, he’s used to it. But I do not believe he has any reason to be upset.”

“We shall see.”

“No one else called you?”

“Uh, I have had several other calls, why? Who should have called me?”

“Dunno… a particular someone…”

He proceeds to scroll through his padd to see if he missed anything. Gosh he is adorable.

Spock stands up after a while and takes my hand.

“Come, Leonard, Jim. The Delta shift will commence soon, let us not be late for the procedures.”

I look at Mr. Scott.

“Aren’t you coming, Scotty?”

“No,” he said softly.

I know that those two letters which he uttered are the letters which will change his life.


	8. Promise

My night with Leonard was blissful. To finally have him in my arms… nothing else mattered, none of the things I used to dream about. Who cares about tradition, about wanting your mate be this or that when you can have pure, blissful love and everything which naturally comes with it?

At some point, Leonard abandoned to me completely, letting me do whatever I wanted with him. It was incredible. I felt, that he was telling me so much more in that moment than he had been able to convey so far, through words or gestures. Leonard was letting me be in charge. It was magnificent.

I love him – I adore him – he is my entire life!

I get out of bed at 4 AM as my Vulcan instincts command. I learnt that he is a heavy sleeper and therefore I have a few hours in which I can put some order into the room, as well as into my thoughts.

I put our scattered clothes in the recycler and replicate new uniforms. I sort-of ripped Leonard’s shirt – for the second time in a day – I must really stop doing that.

I prepare breakfast and I sit down on the meditation mat.

I feel uneasy.

Mr. Scott – that is the thought which does not give me peace. He has remained in my Father’s room. Quite easily to understand what further went on.

I wish Father did not play with him like that. I wish he hadn’t done what he had surely done.

Scotty is so sensitive. So good and kind and –

All of a sudden, the ship changes direction! It is abrupt, and I am 95% we were fired upon, from another ship.

The Enterprise goes to red alert and I hear Jim’s voice through the intercom:

<All senior officers, report to the bridge!>

“Leonard. Leonard! Wake up!”

He jumps out of the bed, old instincts kicking in immediately and I am grateful for that – because I must report to the Bridge at once and, at the same time, I cannot leave him alone in the room! I will not be separated from my mate.

He dresses up quickly and we rush towards the Bridge as fast as we can.

“Captain?” I inquire, and for a split second I do wonder if Jim slept at all – it does not look so.

“Damn Romulans changed their minds, apparently there was something in the treatise they did not like or something! They sent an obscure communication in Romulan which cannot be translated. After which, a cloaked ship fired upon us! Now the only species which possess the technology of cloaking are the Romulans, the Vulcans and the Klingons. And we are nowhere near Vulcan territory.  Get Ambassador Sarek here at once!” Jim ordered, whilst taking the helm himself, because our pilot, Mr. Chekov, had fallen from the chair at the moment of impact and had injured one of his legs. Leonard had taken him in his arms and was providing first aid, until a calmer moment allowed him to transport the patient to Medical Bay.

Father arrived on the Bridge minutes after. He was impeccably dressed and composed, but I could read fatigue and worry on his face.

“Mr. Scott!” Jim said through the intercom.

“Aye Captain,” came the response from Engineering. I should not talk about this now, but Mr. Scott’s voice was not his usual voice – he was not joyous, but serious and gloomy. I wonder what had happened.

“Status of Warp Core?”

<All systems are nominal, Warp available at your command.>

“Good. Ambassador, decrypt that message!”

“Yes, Captain. It says: _You wanted to distract us, in order to weaken the Romulan borders. We shall teach you a lesson about what happens when you taunt Romulans._ If I may, Captain, this does not look like a message written my a Romulan. The grammar is muddled, there are concordance mistakes. It looks as if it was generated by an automated translator of some sort.”

“Someone is trying hard to make it look as if Romulans changed their minds about the treaty, to determine us take offensive actions?”

“Yes, Captain. This is my conclusion.”

“Spock, run extremely detailed long range and short range sensors. Let us record and analyse as we go. Pinpoint the origin of that message at once.”

“It may take a while, Captain. Mr. Scott’s expertise would be most welcome.”

“Scotty,” Jim transmits. “Spock is coming to you with crucial work. Get it done soon. Let’s get out of here,” he says engaging Warp drive.

I walk to Engineering, eager to see Mr. Scott and determine if he is fine. I find him at his usual station, calm and in control. Only his eyes look haunted, filled with pain and despair.

I sit down near him.

“Mr. Scott…”

“Don’t. Just fucking don’t, Commander. Log into the console here o that we may retrieve yer scans and start working.”

I am taken aback by the brutal reprimand, when I haven’t even started saying something or expressing my worry.

I sit down and effectively log into the console. The long-range sensors at full resolution take a little while to download.

I turn and look at him.

“I said…”

“Mr. Scott. STOP IT. You are being unnecessarily rude to both your commanding officer and your friend. I merely wanted to inquire if you are well. If I can do something to help.”

“You cannae do nothin’ so stop investigating.”

“I can perceive deep angst and despair from your side.”

He takes a deep breath.

“The sensors have finished – “

“Fuck the sensors,” I say, and I almost do not recognize myself, but desperate times require desperate measures. “Talk to me, Scotty. Whatever I feel coming from you is the type of despair which is life-threatening. I am not going to stand here and let you suffer all by yourself.”

“Okay,” he says angrily, and I brace myself. “You wanna know what happened?”

“NO,” I immediately say.

He is taken aback. If he thought I was merely curious, I have changed that impression, it seems.

“I feel as if I am going to die any moment now,” he finally says. “I cannot live without him.”

I can understand that feeling very well – I cannot, could not live without Leonard either – but in Scotty’s case, there is no solution.

“Please do not think to harm yourself, Scotty,” I say as kindly as I can. “He will never forgive himself. You may thing whatever you want about my Father, but I can assure you he is not a heartless bastard,” I add even though I severely doubt that last sentence I uttered.

“I love him… love him… love him…” Scotty murmurs endlessly, his eyes focused on the data he analyses much faster than any computer on our ship can. “This message was generated from New Vulcan, from a residence located 1500 miles north from Lord Sarek’s residence, at these coordinates.”

“What??” I exclaim as I double check, even though I know for sure that Scotty’s calculations surpass in precision even those of our best computer.

“You have ears, yes? Pointy, even,” he tells me and simply walks away from me to another area of Engineering where he is needed.

I rush to the Bridge with the information and the coordinates.

Father is also shocked beyond belief.

“Captain, this message was compiled by my political opponent on New Vulcan, with the sole reason to deceive us and make our mission look unsuccessful. I need to solve this situation at once. Kindly set a course to New Vulcan at maximum warp. I shall solve this problem once and for all.”

“Yes, Ambassador,” Jim replies. “Lieutenant Uhura, get me Starfleet Command. I need to Advise Admiral Pike about what has transpired and about our change of plans.”

“Immediately, Captain.”

Father proceeds towards the lift; I accompany him. He gives me a quizzical look.

“I am going to get dressed in more appropriate clothes in order to confront the person who has done such a ruthless act of treason.”

“Very well, Father. A security detail is to accompany you.”

“Good, see to it.”

“Father, if I may… Mr. Scott is unwell.”

He frowns at me.

“Why is he unwell? Is the claim not visible?”

It is my turn to frown. If there was a claim, I did not notice it – it is also true that I did not really look. But also… if there is a claim, that means something extraordinary has happened…

I return to Engineering.

“Mr. Scott?”

“WHAT, now?” he snaps at me.

“Look at me.”

He does so, with exasperation – and then, I see it, I actually see it, because now I am looking properly, yes; my Father lay a claim, a Vulcan claim on this being.

He will give him a bond.

I smile.


	9. Pain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning! Warning! Warning! Angst!  
> Mentions of attempted suicide

Pavel is safe, resting on the biobed, so now I need to see to other matters. Gosh, it was such an agitated morning – not like I had imagined my morning-after-moment. But well, we are on a Starship and things happen. Bad things, if my intervention is required, because no one really calls me to catch up and have a beer. When they call me, it is usually an emergency.

So, Pavel is safe; Ambassador Sarek has beamed down on New Vulcan; Spock is – hmmm, where is Spock? Let me check is life-signs, I am stalking him a bit, but let that be my greatest sin – oh, okay, he is on the Bridge with Jim.

So Sarek left, that jerk.

No wonder he slept with Scotty and now – obviously since we are on orbit around New Vulcan – he left, after having broken his heart.

GOD I have Sarek of Vulcan!!!

I should see to Scotty. Someone should stay with him. He won’t want my company, he’ll think it is out of sympathy or something, so I shall ask him to come help me in Medical Bay with a console recalibration. It does him well to work.

“McCoy to Scotty…”

Yeah, in fact my very own and personal console needs a recalibration. It’s been hours since I haven’t recalibrated it and I never get it right.

“Uhm, McCoy to Mr. Scott. Engineering?”

<Engineering> \- comes the acknowledgement, but not from Mr. Scott.

“Who is this?” I snap at whoever replied.

“Lieutenant Feldmann, Sir.”

“I need to speak to Mr. Scott right away.”

“He is not here, Sir.”

“Well, where is he?” Gosh, how the Lieutenants annoy me!!

“I do not know, Sir. You should localize his life-sign if he is needed. He is not at his station.”

Of all possible places on this planet, Scotty can be: a) at his station; b) in Sarek’s bed / room.

“Computer, locate Montgomery Scott.” Gosh, I hate talking to computers!!

<Lieutenant Montgomery Scott’s insignia is located in Jeffrey’s Tube 9A, junction 5.>

Huh? What the hell?

“Computer, does the insignia malfunction? I presume there is full signal everywhere on this ship.”

<The insignia does not malfunction.>

“Then why the hell isn’t he answering?”

<Query not recognized.>

“Oh shut the fuck up!”

<Query not…>

“Is the insignia attached to his uniform??? I swear it takes forever to obtain info from the stupid computer.”

<Negative.>

I panic he removed his insignia and left it in Jeffrey’s Tube – what in the hell is going on? Whatever it is, it is not good.

“Fuck. Computer, emergency transport to Jeffrey’s Tube 9A! Authorisation Leonard H. McCoy, Chief Medical Officer, 21647774.”

I hate Jeffrey Tubes. They are not tall enough – of course they are not, they are tubes – you have to crawl through them. I do so, as my heart is pounding. Where the hell is he?

“Scotty!!!!” I scream, but all I can hear as a response is the echo.

I flip my tricorder open and I start scanning for life signs – my device does not read anything. I find his insignia, dropped on the floor.

I also know there is interference in those tubes, coming from the tritanium they are made of. I adjust my device to scan for any non-metallic object.

It detects a large amount of cables – sure, why the hell not? As if all I need right now is damn cables.

It detects the shape of a human body in the 8th section of the tube. I crawl that way as fast as I can.

The temperature is very low here because of the cooling system – I shiver.

I have found him – oh gosh, he has crawled here to… what, to freeze to death? He is not that negligent!! Unless…

Unless he did it on purpose.

Stupid, stupid kid!!!! Okay, I am not letting you go.

I pick him in my arms.

“Emergency transport to Medical,” I manage to murmur.

 

We collapse on the Medical Bay floor and it is one of those moments I can show my full appreciation for my highly-trained assistants, who rush to me and help.

“Severe hypothermia, possible coma,” I say as I try to pull myself together and back on my feet, so I can start working.

“Was it an accident? Shall we send teams to Engineering, to - ?”

“It was not an – I do not know what it was. Let us not make assumptions. There are no other victims,” I say as I am quickly checking if anyone else is missing – blissfully, everyone else is accounted for.

If this was an attempt at suicide, I am not going to broadcast it to other crew-members.

Scotty’s body temperature is slowly being elevated with warm liquids intravenously, airway rewarming and irrigation. He was THIS CLOSE to dying. I am going to kill him with my own hands if he makes it well out of this.

<Where the hell is your Father???> I text Spock, violently tapping the letters on the delicate device, as if it helped with something.

<On the planet’s surface> the answer comes.

Of course! He just left, I knew it! Bastard.

<You can tell him that he is the biggest jerk who ever existed.>

He may be Spock’s father, but he is not any less a jerk.

<Leonard, cease such insults. What is the matter and why are you so angry?>

Oh, he wants to know why I am so angry. Well, I’ll tell him.

<Because Scotty attempted suicide and he nearly succeeded. He was minutes away from death when I found him.>

I recognize an abrupt engine stop when it happens by the way I instantly want to throw up. Minutes later, Spock and Jim rush into the Medical bay.

“Leonard???” Spock comes to me in full panic. “How – how is he??”

“He is in ICU,” I tell him, overly upset.

“How can he have done such a thing??? Why???”

“Because Someone seduced him and fucking left him!!!”

Spock covers his face with his palms – yes, this is exactly how I feel as well.

“Leonard, no, this is not at all what has happened. My Father did not seduce him. My Father will give him a bond.”

I look at him disconcerted. Fucking what?

“Oh, a bond? Come, come on, both of you,” I say as I drag them to the ICU unit where Scotty is connected to a respirator and honestly, the view is heartbreaking.  “He was going to give him a bond and so, he fucking left him before doing that? How CONVENIENT!”

“Leonard, no!” Spock exclaimed with despair and doubt creeps into my soul – something is happening here. “Father went down on the planet’s surface because there was a planetary emergency. He is accompanied by a full security detail from Enterprise. Father has not left him.”

Oh. My. God.

“My guess is, Father has not had the necessary time to tell Mr. Scott about his intentions. And while I saw the claim, I also did not tell Mr. Scott. I thought… I thought it would be a beautiful surprise to hear it from my Father himself. I should have told him… it is out of my negligence that all this happened.”

Spock is crushed and, frankly, so am I.


	10. Final Kiss

My communicator beeps two times, then three more. That means someone is broadcasting a message to me on _priority one_ channel.

“Spock here.”

<Lieutenant Ferguson, Sir. We are ready to be beamed up.>

“Is my Father well?”

<Affirmative, Sir. He is… he is well.>

I sense doubt in the voice of our Security Officer, so I rush to Transporter Room, messaging Leonard to come along at once, as Father may be hurt.

Leonard hates my Father with a passion – but he will do his duty as Chief Medical Officer.

We meet in Transporter Room and he looks into my eyes for a second. Ah, my Leonard, my love, my ashayam. I cannot wait for this mission to end so that I can have you in my arms again… I cannot tell him these words right now, but I believe that, somehow, he actually hears them.

I operate the controls and the security team, amidst whom I spot my Father, materializes on the platform.

His beautiful garments are stained with blood – I rush to him, together with Leonard!

“Father! You are hurt! What has happened!!”

“Be at peace, son,” he replies, and I sense a trace of unusual darkness in his voice. “The blood you see is not mine,” he adds, looking deeply into my eyes.

“…Father?” I murmur, because I am quite unable to understand…

“There has been a fight between me and my enemy, a traitor who has staged everything in order to cause an interplanetary incident and make it look as if our mission of peace has failed.”

“There has been a fight, and…? What has happened to your… enemy?”

“He sustained severe injuries.”

“Have you killed him, Father?” I ask, somehow horrified, because I do not see how he would be capable of doing such a thing.

“His survival is unlikely,” he says vaguely.

“He attacked the Ambassador,” Lieutenant Ferguson says. “It was impossible to intervene.”

I do not know how I feel and I want to express my disbelief in the possibility of my Father actually harming someone so severely, when Leonard, who has just finished scanning him and made sure he is unharmed – suddenly strikes him hard over his face with the back of his hand!!

Everyone freezes – security detail, Father, me – no one even moves, the shock and surprise are so big that I cannot even breathe!!! Leonard has –

Leonard has hit my Father!!!

Father lifts his hand and wipes away a bit of blood which is dripping from one of his nostrils.

“This was for Scotty. Because you were such a jerk and he nearly lost his life! And let me tell you something, I do not fucking care if after this you court-martial me or something! You deserved it.”

I finally come back to my senses and go get a hold of Leonard, dragging him farther away from Father.

“I apologize, Father, for my bondmate’s behaviour, it is surely due to stress and exhaustion,” I try to find a reasonable explanation, hoping that the consequences will not be too dramatic, even though I am quite sure this is the end of Leonard’s career! He has just hit an Ambassador and King, in front of five witnesses and myself and I just cannot believe this is happening – it is like a never-ending nightmare which lacks logic and meaning and…

“WHAT DID you say? What has happened to Scotty?” Father asks, abruptly interrupting me and coming to get a good hold of Leonard, pushing both of us against a wall.

“He tried to commit suicide, thinking you left him!!” Leonard replies, with barely restrained anger.

A torrent of emotions – despair love, fear – reflected in my Father’s eyes for a fraction of a second. His hand flew up and his fingers landed on Leonard’s meld points on his right cheek. My instincts revolt – he is melding with my bondmate, which was wayward and rude, but he remains my bondmate – he should have asked for permission – and then I realize that too many transgressions have taken place in the last eight standard minutes. He is melding for information.

He frowns deeply and takes Leonard’s hand.

“Take me to him, quickly now,” he orders.

Leonard does not wait for a second invitation and rushes towards Medical Bay, with Father following him at a close distance – and myself, after having dismissed the security team and advised them to be discrete about everything (even though that is rather impossible for humans).

We barge into the Medical bay together – for lack of a better word. Father seems to have completely forgotten that Leonard has simply slapped him minutes earlier. He quickly identifies Scotty’s bed – our colleague and friend rests on his biobed motionless, connected to various monitors.

He cups his head, leaning over him, already melding with him, I perceive pure despair in his gestures, a frenzy I have never seen.

He loves him…

Father lifts is head and looks at Leonard.

“Tell me, in all honestly, Leonard. What is his condition?”

“He is in an induced coma. He has been in below zero environment for a long period of time. His brain functions…”

“I WILL fix his brain functions. His internal organs are damaged?”

“I have repaired the damage,” Leonard says looking downwards. “His brain functions, if you will listen, are ABSENT, Sarek.”

“For how many minutes was he in the below zero environment?”

“For 47 minutes.”

“After how many has he lost consciousness?”

“After 12 minutes.”

“What was the exact temperature?”

“-27 degrees Celsius,” Leonard answers.

“AND NO ONE NOTICED that your Chief Engineer is missing? Did your computer not warn you that a crew-member has lost consciousness?”

Those were good questions, to which there was no satisfactory answer.

“No and No,” Leonard murmured.

“You shall pay for this, Enterprise,” he says with raw bitterness, and then he proceeds to disconnect Scotty from the biobed life-support.

“What are you doing…?” Leonard asks, puzzled and worried.

“Step aside. I am looking after my mate.”

Holding him tight in his arms, Father places one hand on his forehead and cheeks, on the meld points – but differently than when he would read minds. I know very well that he is a powerful healer – the most formidable our race has. I see his lips move; I know what he is doing; he is transferring a part of his immortal katra to his chosen one. To prolong and heal his life.

“What’s he doing??” Leonard asks me, on a whispered – yet angry tone. “Is he mad?”

“Leave him be, Leonard.”

We see Scotty’s eyes flutter, he struggles to regain consciousness.

“Oh my God,” Leonard exclaims. “OH MY GOD!!” He then rushes and brings several hyposprays; as Scotty becomes more and more alert, more aware of his surroundings, Leonard starts injecting various substances onto Scotty’s arm and neck and Father lets him, knowing that – now – Leonard is helping.

“Put him back on the biobed, come on, don’t be an idiot,” Leonard tells Father – I really need to give Leonard that lecture on how NOT to speak to Sarek of Vulcan!

Mercifully, Father has not noticed the insult – or has let it slide, entirely preoccupied with Scotty’s well-being.

“Do that thing again, come on,” Leonard orders, whilst scanning Scotty. “His synapses are regenerating at an incredible rate, it is absolutely fantastic! You’re great!”

 

As Humans say, I believe I held my breath the entire time. Hours later, Leonard makes final adjustments to the various compounds he kept injecting Scotty with.

“Master??” our young friend exclaims.

My Father’s hand, elegant and beautiful, rests on the meld points for the tenth time.

“I, Sarek of Vulcan, take you, Montgomery Scott, to be my bondmate, from this day, this moment, until death and beyond it. Do you –“

“Yes, oh my God, yes, Master, yes!!!” he rushes to say, even though Father had not finished, the ritual phrase is much longer and…

And I see Sarek of Vulcan smile, for the first time in long, long years.

As we walk them to their quarters, from where I am sure they will not come out very soon, Father turns towards Leonard and myself. I know very well that Leonard’s behaviour has been atrocious and he ha all the right to be upset and demand for Leonard to be reprimanded.

“Son, I have congratulated you for your choice, when you introduced me to Leonard.”

I freeze. Here it comes.

“…but today I convinced myself that I also need to congratulate me. You have chosen a brave, strong, admirable man, whom I shall cherish to the end of my days. You are a good man, Leonard. I am proud to know you, and even more so, to love you.”

Leonard’s eyes fill with tears. He takes Father’s hands and kisses them, right there, in the middle of the crowded corridor.

As Father and Scotty finally disappear into their apartment, Leonard turns towards me and winks at me.

“Spock, I think you should breathe now…”

I actually resume breathing.

Leonard wraps his arms around my neck.

“Should we go to our room too? There is so much to… talk about!”

“Negative, Leonard,” I reply coming to my senses. “I must return to the Bridge. Jim has not slept in the past 72 hours.”

“Ah!!!! That STUPID Kid! He has things to do once we get to Earth. Come on, I’ll relieve him of duty with my own two hands.”

“As long as you do not hit him…” I add as an afterthought and follow him to the Bridge.

 

Jim is hyperactive and his eyes look red.

“Good God, man! Go to sleep at once!”

“No, I’ll sleep when we get to Earth. Get me a caffeine hypospray. Many people are still injured, and Spock needs to pilot, because I am too tired for the docking procedures, and Spock cannot command the ship AND pilot at the same time.”

“Captain, Vulcans multitask well. Please go and have some rest. We shall wake you before we get to Earth. You have five solid hours of sleep ahead of you, do not waste them.”

“Mmmh,” Jim sighs unconvinced. “Fine, I’ll go. Spock, take the piloting station. Doctor McCoy, you have the Bridge.”

With those words and a smug smile, he finally goes to sleep.

Leonard frowns at me.

“Did he say I had the Bridge?”

“Yes, Doctor, so do sit down on the Chair,” I add, feeling very proud.

“But I already **have** the Medical Bay. I cannot possibly **have** the Bridge as well.”

Everyone’s mood improves considerably.

“You know how our Captain is; for him, nothing is impossible.”

“Fu- very well,” he finally replies and sits down, heavily, on the commanding chair. “Alright! Listen up! Commander Spock, so, ugh, you are driving!”

 _Driving_ is not exactly the term, but then again, I do not know a lot of surgical terms either.

“Yes, Captain.”

“Don’t you call me Captain!”

“Well, you are Acting Captain, the procedure says – “

“Damn hobgoblin, he is now quoting procedures and regulations!” Leonard proceeds to talk by himself, which is a good AND a bad sign. “Very well. Set a course to Earth, Warp 4. Engage.”

That is rather slow, but I do not wish to undermine Leonard’s authority, therefore I do as I am told.

“Connect a video-call to this number,” he says transmitting a set of digits to my console, “patch it through to the Ready Room.”

He then disappears into the respective room, to have the phone call and I am so very curious, but Leonard is being secretive and takes advantage of the position to plot something only he knows. Hmmmm.

 

The docking manoeuvres require care and attention. I have begun to feel tired, but I still perform adequately, and Jim has also woken up, having come to the Bridge. Leonard gives him a flawless report of the past five hours.

“And now Jimmy-boy, go put on the dress uniform and perhaps shave. I have arranged for a proper welcome committee for King Sarek, the guard of honour and things.”

Jim’s eyes brighten, because he loves protocol and seems grateful Leonard thought of that.

He goes dress in more appropriate garments.

I frown at Leonard.

“I am not sure Father would appreciate a welcome committee, Leonard, after all that has happened… He simply needs some time alone with Mr. Scott, and the privacy…”

“Oh, shush you, hobgoblin mine. There’s a welcome committee alright, but not for Sarek.”

I lift one eye-brow questioningly. What IS he plotting?

Leonard proceeds to text back and forth with someone. I DISLIKE when people text compulsively.

 

Father emerges from his room, with Mr. Scott at his side, we meet in transporter room.  Leonard and Jim have joined us.

Scotty is… shining! I have never seen such happiness.  He is plastered by my Father’s side.

Our eyes meet – we both smile.

Scotty loves Sarek of Vulcan and his feelings are returned.

Even my Vulcan heart is… melting.

“Hop on the platform, boys,” Leonard urges us impatiently. _Boys_? Oh, what will I do about his colourful language!  But Father does not seem to mind, on the contrary he steps on the padd, inviting Jim to occupy the place at his right side.

Scotty operates the controls from a wall panel and the transporter sequence moves us almost instantaneously down in Riverside.

There is no welcome committee, no honour guard – I look at Leonard confused. Is there some kind of mistake? What has he done?

“Hello, James,” Christopher Pike says, ignoring us all and looking only at Jim, whose eyes shine bright, with fear and hope and happiness.

And then, Chris takes a few steps towards him; he wraps one arm around his waist, and Jim lets him, trembling with emotion.

And Chris kisses him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for having read Ownership! Let me know what story you crave next.

**Author's Note:**

> Story by AnJoan Grey


End file.
